Feb. 7th, 2010

[identity profile] bloodred1889.livejournal.com
Am I mad to think these things,
To feel the way I feel?
To believe in ghosts and angels
When "reality's" surreal?

The world's interconnected.
Anyone can see;
And I'm here at the centre -
The fat controller - me.

Coincidences don't exist.
The planet's pre-arranged.
Smoke some dope and clench my fist -
It's the others what's deranged.

The T.V.'s telepathic.
The postman's K.G.B.
The radio's empathic.
There's arsenic in my tea.

The junk-mails full of messages.
Mossad's been in touch?
There's anthrax in my sausages
Life really is too much!

The gas-man's come from M.I.5.
His eyes electric blue.
What to do to stay alive?
There's cameras in the loo.

I must out on a mission -
The world, my soul, to save.
No manic intermission.
I'm bold! I'm free! I'm brave!

The sky above is orange;
The street below is black.
The life I live is free-range;
But there's a devil on my back.

Smash a window! Break the spell!
Get the "Busies" swarming.
Crazy antics in a cell.
Sectioned early morning.

Interrogated, medicated,
Movements now staccato.
Worst of all humiliated.
Just what the fuck then are you?

You're no Satan! You're no Christ!
You're just another number.
"You're brains, my dear, they must be sliced!"
Do they come much dumber?

You? Commander of the Gods?
What a crazy notion.
You've lost your clothes, you stupid sod!
And caused a great commotion!

We're all mistaken so they say
At some time or another.
Just one more long schizoid day -
Blame it on my mother!





that was a poem about schizophrenia, which i may have, i have many symptoms these days.
[identity profile] rhyzome-soul.livejournal.com
There will be times in your life when you make mistakes that you can never take back. I made such a mistake last Friday.

No matter how many times I've told myself I deserve to be saved, or that I am really a good person deep down...

I don't. I'm not. I hate myself. I don't know why I'm fucking here if I have no purpose and all I do is destroy everything I love, even when I'm trying so hard to protect it.

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