Sighs

[xxxsectomars.livejournal.com]

Everyone keeps asking me "Anah how are you?  Christy whats been going on?"

Well for future reference.

i am going bloody well insane.  Certified I am and I don't care anymore.  The voices and sounds what shut up, the meds I fear have quit working, something happened about three weeks ago now that has set me off so bad I don't want touched, I don't want to think I'm going to be touched.  5ft is not far enough away from me and I'll scream I swear to god.. 

I'm strarting to see things like a glitch in the bloddy matrix and its not cool...   but its the voices and noises that are going to kill me.  I can't hack it anymore.

so NO I AM NOT ALLRIGHT!  NO SCHIZO-EFFECTIVE DISORDER IS NOT LOLL

IPOPS AND RAINBOWS!  NO I DON'T WANT TO TALK CAUSE YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND CAUSE YOU CAN'T HEAR WHATS IN MY HEAD OR WHATS GOING ON!  NO I CAN NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE AT THE MOMENT UNLESS I AM DRAGGED IT IS FAIRLY TRAMATIC.  NO I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR ISSUES BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I MAKE GOD DAMNED MISTAKES SO GET OVER IT.  I AM LESS THAN HUMAN.

rant over...   I wish I was mary sue..  but I"m no I'm just Anah.  I miss Haldir, I miss Shann.   I  miss quiet heads and being happy all the time.