(no subject)
Mar. 4th, 2008 06:44 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
i feel like a silly girl with a crush. my brain won't turn off and i can't stop thinking like i know i should, but part of me doesn't want to stop thinking.
I spent two hours trying to conjure money from an ATM before choosing the right PIN. Occasionally I give the audience at home a quick wave. Even cameras have a grainy universe which demands respect.
It seems I can transfer myself between different “selves.” I’m not exactly sure what this means yet. Focusing on the selection of desired probably outcomes, using whatever methods present themselves to weigh
the odds in my favor. I have noted that the simple execution of will provides the tipping point. I present myself with a numerical code device—a combination lock or keypad, a rubic’s cube. And I try to watch myself
select the right answer.
Results have been mixed, yet exhilarating. I may be able to exploit
this principle without losing ego integrity. (Dying, alone and quite mad.)