Emotionally either dead or reactive, tired all the time, agoraphobic, can't be bothered to do anything, still pottering around with inventions and stuff though so I guess I haven't reached the utter nadir, which is marked by unbearable emo-agony and suckage.
Cut for our more sensetive viewers...
( Read more... )In reality I fear that I am heading towards kinetic death. Already staying at home most of the time, time and space and everything else is folding down into what can be found inside my flat and maybe at the local shop; I sit and I wait for things to get worse, at least right now I still have the desire to use my computer and fiddle with electronic bits and pieces, what I fear, yet must go through in order to come out of the other side, is that situation described by William Burroughs when he was on smack; staring at your show twelve hours a day and only pausing to go to or get out of bed.
I just don't want to go outside right now, OK? There isn't anything there that I want. The sunshine reminds me of what it was like to have a girlfriend, the people look like shit warmed up, and it is so boring that I might as well stay at home anyway. Also it is unbelievably tiring.