asylum_online | Um, I have no one else to tell this to..

So I have been taking diet pills for a while now... a really long while.

I found out about this 'quack' doctor about 2 years ago and he doesn't really check you out thoroughly yet he prescribes pharmaceutical grade diet pills. So... Yeah.
He kept upping my dose until it was 2 pills 3 times a day. My god man I never took that many. So subsequentially I would go less often then I should because I was filling in the prescription for that dosage but I would only take like 1-2 a day. Well I ran out without warning. Weird no? But the bottle fell open in my bag and when I rummaged the bottom of it two days ago I came up empty handed.
Well I decided to read up on it a bit. Phendymetrazine or something like that... It isn't good nor does it have any really good reviews. Um, I think it says not to take it more than like 6 months and it's been close to 2 years for me. Fuck right?
So I decided to not go back for more.
But yeah I guess I am in withdrawals.
I'm not shaky or anything but I couldn't sleep last night and then after attending my 8am class this morning I came home and passed the fuck out.
So yeah... I guess that's got something to do with it. Although it worsened my insomnia, I guess not having it anymore has just altogether fucked up my insides and head.
No one knows I've been taking this and if I had told them at one point (Emilios) he doesn't talk nor remember any type of reaching out to him... So I can't talk about this withdrawal thing to anyone I know.
I had told Emilios like a year and a half ago and he never brought it up again even when I made it abundantly clear that I wanted to talk about it last year because I was having some issues with stuffs and stuffs.

So yeah, I said it. I'm not taking diet pills anymore... But I was, for a long time.
I still have a problem with ambien now though. I started taking ambien around the same time because the diet pills were such an upper it was insane without a downer. Writing about all this makes me feel like a pill addict. Maybe I am and maybe I really need to stop. I won't be taking the diet pills anymore for sure, but I will have to gradually stop taking the ambien... I've always had sleeping problems since I was in grade school... So I don't really know if taking the ambien is a problem or not.
But there it is, I've said it.