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[evidence-lost.livejournal.com]

I haven't felt this continual lethargic depression in months, if not years. I hate that I've been depressed, had panic attacks and felt utterly worthless on and off (more on than off) since I was 8 or 9 (I'm 16 now). I can't cope with school anymore, with every lesson and pretty much everything that happens there, there is something that makes me feel miserable/panicky/homicidal/rage. And I go to a great school, it's small and most of the rejects from other schools go there so it's definitely not like nobody else there has known depression. I experience visual seizures so I see flashing lights all the time, like millions of little flickering pinpricks all over my vision, but now thats getting worse and i'm hallucinating slightly and becoming paranoid and delusional and I don't know what the fuck to do.
(x-posted)

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