AAAAAAAH!!!!

[danceandmurder.livejournal.com]

today fucking SUCKED. i go to my car and the fucking doors are unlocked, and then i'm driving down the street and go to turn on my music and my fucking mp3 player is GONE. so someone broke into my car and took my shit. and i looked in the backseat and everything was screwed up, like someone rummaged through it. i feel so fucking violated. so not only am i pissed off about that, but then i tell my boyfriend about it, and he acts like it's my fucking fault, telling me, "i told you this was going to happen. i fucking told you not to leave your shit in your car." i wouldn't be as upset if the thing didn't have sentimental value to it. my dad, whom i haven't seen in nearly four years, sent me that stuff for my birthday. i just feel like shit. someone was IN MY FUCKING CAR. someone i don't fucking know. this is ridiculous. i want to curl up in a ball and cry. and then while i'm at work being a slave, this other place i applied to called and i talked to this woman, but i didn't get the job because school makes me availability too limited. life would have been so easy with that job. they pay $12.00 an hour to start. i don't know what the fuck i'm going to do. no one else has called me about anything.

FUCK LIFE.

(no subject)

[whatweneversaid.livejournal.com]

I woke up this morning and, for the second time in two days, found a long scratch that I don't remember making.  The first runs the whole length of my thigh, and this new one's along my side.  Then I look in the three way mirror when I'm doing my hair and notice that there're about 10 different scratches on the back of my neck, and I don't remember making those either.  They weren't there when I went to bed last night.

The thing is, I don't know if they're even from my fingernails - I bit them so bad yesterday that they dont' stick out past the ends of my fingers, and they're just these soft little thin things right now.  I'm really scared that I grabbed a needle or something while I was sleeping and used that (I'm diabetic, so I have to keep my testing equipment by my bed when I sleep).

Ugg so I now I have these big red raised scratches, and I have no idea what to do about it.  I go to the doctor who gives me my Lexapro in a few weeks, and I'll tell her, but in the meantime...

Have any of you had problems with hurting yourself in your sleep?  What did you do about it?
(ex-posted to dontcut)

I feel deeply empty

[krazyside.livejournal.com]

Came home and felt empty. It's like trying to keep your head above water, keeping my brain distracted from the Bad Thoughts.

Seeing my ex socially doesn't help, I think, especially when parting is abrupt. I need to go out with someone. I need something, anyway.

Life without narcissists (not my ex) is so... boring. Nobody comes round my house anymore, and I have one person left whom I visit regularly.

I feel like shit, even thought its' just chemicals.

<3 yo :)

[littlexbabyxboo.livejournal.com]

Hey I'm Kayla. Please call me Kay. I don't particularly like my life story so I'll just skip the crap and tell you what I want you to know about me. I think I'm great. I'm selfish and conceited. I've been in and out of therapy since I was seven. I like boys, a lot. I make people feel awkward more often than not. I like em' experienced - people think I'm sleeping with my boss. I like to keep people guessing. I smoke and don't party too often any more. I don't run with too many girls, they're too much drama. I have more issues than I care to count. I'm controlling and I like to make people cry. I've been told I'm too closed off, I just like to keep myself seperate. I just thought I'd join this community to see if there are people as seriously messed up as I am.