Jan. 27th, 2008

[identity profile] krazyside.livejournal.com
There are just tooooooo many different things for me to get it down to one perfect Reason, so here we go:

* There was this agency that I was hoping would help me get some work, but it turns out that not only are they a bunch of dogshit, they don't even have an office in my town, so that's that opportunity down the craphole.

* I've just talked to one of my favorite living authors online, and he has just turned out to be an absolute dick of the first water, touchy as hell and contemptuous with it. Never meet your heroes!

* All of my friends are out having fun while I'm stuck in the flat, all because I got banned from the club due to some stupid shit that happened a fucking year ago, for Christ's sakes.

* My mental health is taking another nosedive into oblivion

* The Government want to put all us mental people in a fucking Gulag, or sell us into slavery, or wrap us in a flag and send us to Iraq, or something, and are no doubt plotting ways to fuck me over even now.

* In fact, the recent firing of the Minister for Work and Pensions means that they will probably stop paying all benefits, tomorrow, so that brain dead, right wing arseholes from the Home Counties will continue to vote for them.

* I only know one other person who is in a similar situation, and I never see her - she's probably paranoid that I want to sleep with her or something. Or maybe she just hates me.

* All the rest of the krazy people I know have jobs and social status, and are real people whom the world actually gives a flying fuck about, because at least they do something useful with their lives instead of just sitting around moaning and drawing the dole.

* I'm actually afraid to talk to anyone online, that's how fragile I'm feeling. Because you don't have to tell me how worthless I am - I tell myself that I suck almost all the time anyway.

* I'm sure one to talk - I've abandoned all the people on this part of livejournal for months, because I'd been feeling better, and now I'm miserable again I'm back here whining for sympathy
[identity profile] deorcfata.livejournal.com
Holy crap I finally found out what they diagnosed me with last time I was in the mental hospital.


Borderline Personality Disorder



For years I have been trying to remember the name of the thing they diagnosed me with. That is it! It makes so much sense too! I really thought I out grew the crazyies but even today I see myself demonstrating some of these symtoms. Granted it isn't as bad as when I used to be laughing and having a good time one minute and then start crying for 30 mins after the next. But such things as moving across the country, lashing out at those I love most because they made a simple mistake, and engaging in risky behavior.

Then again I don't really like talking about this stuff. When I was younger I used to love explaining to people how crazy I was. I was very attention seeking back then, and I have really come a long way from that. I try to keep my insaneness to myself, and I hope and pray my new relationships do not discovers my irrationalities. Most of the time it is inevitable and I end up losing them as a friend, but at least I am trying some what to lead a normal life.

Bipolarism, Schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder are all things I have gone without medication for since I was 16. I don't like taking pills for anything. Headache? Most people take advil. I just deal with it. So that is what I am going to keep doing, and not whine about it.


I just want to feel alive, and those few minutes out of the day where I feel like life is worth living is worth the other 23 hours I spend wondering what the fuck.
[identity profile] goaskjennifer.livejournal.com
HELLO EVERYONE!!! DID EVERYONE MISS ME???
sorry my life has become crazy as hell. I go to school from 7:30-2:15 work from 2:30 until 5:30 and then I go back to school from 6:00- almost 10pm. People are coming to the realization that yes, I do love females and males, I think they way everyone moves and look is beautiful. My car is awesome looking, I finally made it look ghetto fabulous. My parents are coming around, I just can't talk about my relationships, unless it is with a male. I'm thinking of having my friend "Liz" come over and meet my parents. Liz is a beautiful and believal transsexual.
Life is crazy, I wish I had a moment to just breathe. That's what I need. I havent been cutting(YAY!) It is a first in a long time. I'm back with this guy, I have met in January and Im happy being with him....

FOR ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN WASHINGTON! I'M COMING UP FOR A WEEK. YAY!!!!!! SO, IF THERE ARE ANY CLUBS LET ME KNOW! I'LL BE IN SEATTLE. SO YEA.

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