Dunno why but I began typing and this came out...

[agabua.livejournal.com]

Hi all, I found myself typing at one point in my LJ to fill in something in my about my personal life and all this came out, its probably all random crap and just stupid ramblings, but hey I thought it might suit this place aswell:


Ok wether or not u keep me in your live journal friends list or not after this frankly I dunno. What will come of this? I also dont know but I have to say it cos I think its true and it came to me.
Human beings are horrible, unlikeable, rude, selfish and "unique" animals.
Unique not because they r in any way better than the rest of the animal kingdom but because they are the only creatures that do at some point in their miserable lives hurt and scar each other for stupidity and for simple whims of pleasure.
We were given the gift of conciousness, rationality and intelligence and humans have with this gift really screwed themselves over many times.
I am not saying that all people in this world are like that (HELL NO!) i mean using such intelligence we have also been able to discover and analyse human behaviour, define intelligence and come up with some of the most amazing analytical and philosophical thoughts and artwork aswell as medical and scientific marvels that have made our lives better and saved ours aswell as many lives. But at the same time similar minds have given us the atomic bomb, biological warfare and weapons that have been used to hurt each other.
Hyperbole aside however looking at the immediate world around me I have just remembered how cruel, horrible and frankly pathetic people are, this is not due to anyone or anything in particular I have just had too much time to think. Look if we r to believe that God did create us all then we r to believe that God gave us conciousness for the purpose of choosing right and wrong, people can choose, and lead their lives as they wish. And even if u dont believe in the big guy upstairs u can certainly believe in free will and choice we would be lying if we said that we believed that when we saw the coyote get hurt, run over, squashed,etc while chasing the roadrunner it wasnt funny, fact is its Exceedingly funny!
What differentiates right from wrong is wether we laugh about it when a real person we know....or sometimes dont even know gets hurt, run over and squashed. What do we do then?
It can also be in some cases more normal, and be more veryday and less odd or unlikely circumstances, for example: wether we lie to someone or come out and be honest with them, wether we choose to help a person when we know damn well we can help them, wether we betray someone despite the fact that we have been trusted, wether we take something that doesnt belong to us just cos we wont get caught, etc... We have all done something bad or wrong and dont fool urselves by saying i dont believe in being right or wrong or there is no such thing as certainty, thats just bullshit to try and escape the fact that in ur life u have to make choices u have to live with.
I respect anyone with an idea of right, wrong and honesty...By that I dont mean that I respect only those that are right and are honest as to their reasons, I respect people even if they r wrong and are honest about it, then again i know that right and wrong are relative depending on the person hence I can say I respect those who are wrong and honest...didnt say i liked them.
Now to be fair I have known, still know people and know of people that have a belief of being right/wrong and honest, some ppl love to fool themselves, ignorance is a blanket that covers u and shields u from this world, tell urself something enough times and u will believe it! How sad for those ppl to be so damn blind that they begin to swallow their own crap! I mean part of me thinks "ok victims of their own hubris" so they believe that they r honest and thats it no harm done? Screw that!!! when one manipulates people and makes them believe or see something that isnt real one is doing something wrong! Just cos someone is too stupid to realise that they r lying to themselves it doesnt mean that they r a better person it just means that they r too damn ignorant and not likely to ever correct their mistakes at all.
This post has become overly long and overly complicated just the same way that human beings have been blessed/cursed with a complex mind, I honestly dunno if I have made sense but hell, it feels nice to let go of stuff thats been on my mind for a while.

(no subject)

[evil-andy.livejournal.com]

I hate myself

as the evil takes control
darkness consumes his soul
suffer, your not good enough to die
your life is just one big fucking lie
we all want to see you bleed
the pain inside is what you need
it's your addiction, you keep coming back for more
to it your a fucking whore
help yourself, slit your wrists and let the blood flow free
let the pain become your ecstasy
come one, just pick up that knife
make another attempt to end your life
remember that no one cares
i make real your darkest fears
your the most confused of them all
you see it when you look into that mirror on the wall
give up, you'll never prevail
this is your life, it sucks and it's all real
admit it you sick fuck, you like the pain
you are being driven insane
this is hell help will never come, there is nothing for you to gain
i fucking hate you