Introducing?

[noctrnalfreek09.livejournal.com]

Hello all.. Seeing as it's what everybody else is doing, which I don't normally follow but in this case I will, I guess my first post should be an introduction to myself. I don't believe in all the labeling shit, but as most people say I'm "goth", so I'll just go along with that. My name is NoctrnalFreek09, and I have a number of problems. But it's all gravy. I guess I'll name them anyway, since that seems to be the trend here. Well, I just had a case with the cops about being molested, and now I'm being forced to see a psychiatrist. I recently (within the past few months) became a smoker.. I have scars all over my body from cuts. I am cast aside as a troublemaker and insane self-mutilating child by my teachers. I hang out with the so-called "losers" who really if you get to know them are the coolest people you'll ever meet, and the "populars" hate me, but personally I don't give a shit. Are we allowed to curse here? Oh well anyway, I have ADD and back problems and I have many symptoms of depression which I haven't checked up on yet... And a few other things I've taken up with the doctor... I really don't want to see a shrink. But I guess I have to... I have lost all of my dad's trust and can't go anywhere anymore. But the one major good thing in my life that I DO have is my boyfriend... We've been together off and on for a year now and we plan to stay together the rest of our lives... We're eachother's first real love and can't be apart... Last time I tried that both of us almost killed ourselves.. So I guess you could say I'm fairly happy. I practice witchcraft. I find this community quite interesting... So I'm very sorry I took so long writing this! I just realised how long it is.

I hope you'll all welcome me here!
L8ter

I Hate.

[innocentsins238.livejournal.com]

God is not fair to me. And, that in itself, is not fair. At all. Nothing is ever going right and it's not fucking fair. I hate the world. I hate this. This feeling is just getting old. Damnit. I only just want one thing to be the way I want it to...but I'm sure I'm not the only one so I guess I shouldn't complain. X_x.

Do I Get a Summer This Year?

[tabloidscully.livejournal.com]

Winter, for me, started July 19, 2003.

It hasn't let up yet.

Nobody else in Kansas has noticed the snowstorms. The flurries drifting down from the sky, clinging to my brunette crown of bangs, the icicles freezing to my fingertips.

There have been occassional glimpses of sunrays, some stormy weather, a clear day here and there. But by and large I have felt the chill of below temperatures for almost a year.

That's because I was raped July 19, 2003, and I haven't been warm since.

One of the first things I asked myself following that event that killed a portion of my soul was if I'd get a summer that year. The answer was no. I refused to wear a swimsuit or tanktop. Shorts were out of the question. I never ventured near another swimming pool. I was never warm enough.

And now, with the anniversary of the day the real me, the me that was loved and cherished and truly beautiful, died, approaching, I am bewildered and forlorn about the impending future.

In my heart, I know this is my last Fourth of July.

I can't survive another winter.

It's been too many months since the groundhog saw his shadow already.

I've fallen through the ice and I'm drowning with no one throwing me a lifeline.

I only want to be warm again.

Stupid...

[joespizza.livejournal.com]

Hello all. My name's Lauren and I'm horrible at introductions, so bear with me. I am quite alike all of you, yet so very different. I'm 14, I'm very very depressed and suicidal 99.9% of the time. I cut when I get the courage, and when I'm not cutting, I'm harming myself some other way because I think of it as a temporary escape. I haven't got many friends, and I am excluded most of the time. I have a disability, and I can't live a fucking normal life.

I'm not expecting to make friends. but it would be nice.

That is, if anyone cares.