(no subject)

[elputadediablo.livejournal.com]

It feels like I am completely alone in my illness. I hate being the way I am and just wish I could live a life like other people. Just basic things like being able to drive, not being on 5 different psychotropic medications at 31 years old and not sitting in a basement hiding from the world 24 hours a day smoking cigs like a mad woman and trying to wish my self loathing away. Feeling very hopeless for my future. Everyday I wake up hoping to feel better and ending the day in defeat. Coffee and cigarettes the only thing thats keeping me from taking to my bed and saying fuck it all I refuse to live in this world anymore I choose to be sleeping beauty who never gets woken up by the prince.

(no subject)

[elputadediablo.livejournal.com]

  My mind is bruised
My body tainted and dirty
My soul is crushed
And I'm, only a year past 30
Make the bruise go away
Cleanse and renew my body
Bring joy and happiness to my soul
and let me hang on at least until I'm 40