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yeah you right, right?
Feb. 1st, 2010 01:19 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
domnotdori.livejournal.com y'know what's really bad? what's really bad is sending the person you love most in the world off to be committed or arrested or whatever and then going out to the goddamn CC and getting as fucked up as it's possible to be. My friend Jay's driving around right now totally wrecked off his head, I made it home by the skin of my goddamn teeth and my best friend is handcuffed to a bed at Touro infirmary right now because there are no psychiatric beds in the city and I'm the one who sent him there.
That's what's really bad.
Being drunk on Malbec, cranberry vodka and god all knows what else they were pouring in those glasses and wondering if my other friend is gonna make it home safe or unarrested while I sit here feeling sorry for myself.
Knowing I sent my best friend away. And God knows he needed to go since he couldn't even move to take a piss other than right where he was sat, but it doesn't really fuckin matter now does it?
thtats whats really bad.
Everyone plays their games, tey prenetned their shit's real, they have their good tiems and they try to conviince the world that all their stupid shit is real, when you know what? THIS is real. This is what's real. Being goddawful drunk, alone at 1 am, with the person you loved most in the world DEAD and the person you loved most next to them locked up in some watched ward somewhere at touro because they couldn't even move anymore.
Thta's whats real, that's whats really bad, that's about the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard of. and it's my life. It's real for me.
I'm the happy one. I'm the happy guy, the guy who smokes his weed and never gets mad and never has a moement and never fucking cries to anyone.
that's a lie.
my life has gone to absolute hell and i'm not the happy guy anymore.
my head spinning and before too much more time passes i'm probably gonna throw up and pass out and if i'm extraoridianitrly lucky i wont ake up again in the morning.
not that i'll be so lucky as to die a rock star death.
no i'll wake up. and the same stupid shit will go on and i'll still be alone.
and i'll still have sent him away.
That's what's really bad.
Being drunk on Malbec, cranberry vodka and god all knows what else they were pouring in those glasses and wondering if my other friend is gonna make it home safe or unarrested while I sit here feeling sorry for myself.
Knowing I sent my best friend away. And God knows he needed to go since he couldn't even move to take a piss other than right where he was sat, but it doesn't really fuckin matter now does it?
thtats whats really bad.
Everyone plays their games, tey prenetned their shit's real, they have their good tiems and they try to conviince the world that all their stupid shit is real, when you know what? THIS is real. This is what's real. Being goddawful drunk, alone at 1 am, with the person you loved most in the world DEAD and the person you loved most next to them locked up in some watched ward somewhere at touro because they couldn't even move anymore.
Thta's whats real, that's whats really bad, that's about the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard of. and it's my life. It's real for me.
I'm the happy one. I'm the happy guy, the guy who smokes his weed and never gets mad and never has a moement and never fucking cries to anyone.
that's a lie.
my life has gone to absolute hell and i'm not the happy guy anymore.
my head spinning and before too much more time passes i'm probably gonna throw up and pass out and if i'm extraoridianitrly lucky i wont ake up again in the morning.
not that i'll be so lucky as to die a rock star death.
no i'll wake up. and the same stupid shit will go on and i'll still be alone.
and i'll still have sent him away.
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