(no subject)

[whatweneversaid.livejournal.com]

I don't normally post here because I don't know what to say, but something came up over the weekend...

I was at my sister's violin recital on Saturday, and since it's a 5 year old to high school senior recital the music went from cute but sucky to it-should-be-pretty but sucky to oh wow I wish I could do that or just even hear that again.  Normally it doesn't bother me, but I've been in a bit of an emotional rut lately, with my meds not doing anything for me anymore other than keeping the withdrawl symptoms away (I'm on Lexapro 20 mg). 

I had just finished my first acrylic painting (of my sister, if it matters) that I spent around ten hours on because I'm a perfectionist, and I'm not happy with it because it looks odd and not much like the picture.  The teacher said it's good today in class, but I still don't like it.  I just wish that I could get something that I think looks good or interesting after I put all of this time and effort into it.  I guess it's probably mostly mental?

So at the concert I got this feeling like whatever I spend a ton of time on, trying to make perfect, it's never going to be enough to make me happy.  I used to be able to put emotion into things and take it from looking at or hearing almost anything, a lot of times when I was most depressed and unhappy with my life in other ways.  Just looking out the window on a car trip to my grandparents' cabin would make me feel all teary, but in a good way because everything felt so beautiful and spiritual. 

I've lost that.  Now I see technical achievement in things more often than that beauty piece that I love so much.  It's making it harder for me to stay connected to my religion, because most of what I get out of it is from the beauty of the ceremony and the spirituality.

I noticed this starting to happen a while after I started meds, and it's nice not to be fighting back tears all the time, but I miss it sometimes.  I'm not sure it's the meds, or if I'm just growing up and my personality is changing.  Has anybody here had problems like this, or any advice for me?  I felt like this on and off for a year or two, but it's much worse than normal lately.  I'm tired of feeling numb.

(no subject)

[stillbourne.livejournal.com]

Welcome all new residents :)

please refer to Nurse x_cupkake's posts about the latest therapy sessions being held this week.

I feel the need to post something to remind everyone here about the nature of _asylum_
We are the only safe place on the internet to post real goings-on in your lives and also random nonsense that you think is important. Everywhere else you will be forced to a strict code of conduct to post by.

We do not do that here because we understand you. we choose to make this an open forum for fun and frolicking as well as heavy posts....
The staff here, like every one of you, suffer from mental illness of some kind OR have severe artistic temperment that the real world cannot understand.

With that said there are certain points I need to address for all the new folks:

_asylum_'s strength is that it is very multi-fasceted.
When you post about your problems, there is bound to be 100+ people who relate.
but understand there are 400+ people here with different mental illnesses that cannot.
there will also be 100+ artists that will be able to interpret your ideas better by drawings...
and there will also be 100+ others that are here because they hope to give you advice or whatever.

Like any asylum, PLEASE RESPECT EVERYONE.

Our power in numbers is also our weakness.

In the end, I believe this _asylum_ is the only place on earth to get valid help without real therapy.
but we cannot help you if you cannot be cordial to each other.
people will ask for advice here. that is not permission to be mean.
It is YOUR job, no matter what angle you want to present, to present you argument in a fashion that will not HURT others.

---------------------------------------------------
CONVERSELY:

You who post: understand that this is an asylum run by inmates.
Understand that those who are attacking you verbally are IN PAIN just like you are.
they are lashing out. they may not understand why, or maybe you hit a nerve because they have been where you are,
but understand mental illness is an ILLNESS.
we ALL suffer from it here.
There will be days when I cannot moderate here because I am in pain. that is why there are so many "nurses" here.
We do our best.

I expect that if you want to be part of _asylum_ that you are here to deal with your mental illness and will not encourage or put down others for mental illness. This _asylum_ is not about encouraging mental illness of any kind. If we see posts encouraging suicide or EDs or anything like that, the staff must delete it. We understan that it is just your illness talking but we cannot promote that behavor.

In the end: say only what you would want to hear from others online.
trust the staff here will send those who really need help to the proper venues.
do not take on things yourself.

this should be a place for your own improvement, not a place to bring others down.



_______________

we have begun moderating and accepting upcoming residents who join here for all of you to feel safe to post whatever you need to here.
should you NEVER want someone to find this place, let a staff member know so we can be sure your posts are safe. we have a nurse station that we communicate in to keep this place safe for you. (just remember to friends lock your post)

________
In the end, if you are having problems dealing with people here, let a staffmember know.
If you are unhappy with something, let us know.

Just remember before you post: everyone here is hurting.
you may get comments that you may not like, but understand *that* person is hurting too... Likewise, before you make that edgy comment to someones post, understand that they are hurting too, so you may want to carefully phrase something....
be kind to each other and find the right words to help each other. negativity NEVER solves problems. present things in a POSITIVE way.


Again, THANK YOU for everything you post here. You cannot imagine how much one outcry post can help. we have a lot of member who lurk, just waiting for the right post to comment to.. it may be yours....

take care and I will be available on Wednesday during therapy.

ATTENTION!

[x-cupkake.livejournal.com]

*Loudspeaker buzzes on*

Attention all residents!

For those of you who do not yet know, there is a new 'sister community' to our asylum, asylum_therapy.
Once a week (perhaps more, depending on the success of it), there will be 'group therapy sessions' held, in which members of _asylum_ can attend a group therapy meeting.
There will be a different theme for each session, with 'open' sessions being available when staff feel appropriate.
You do not need to be a member of asylum_therapy to take part, but it would be in your best interest to join, so staff can recognise who you are.
---------------

The first therapy session will commence on June 2nd, at 9.30pm GMT (UK time - since I'm based in the UK).

This weeks session topic: Eating Disorders
It's came to light over the past week that EDs have became somewhat a main topic for members, and for the public in general.
So, if you have an ED of anykind, know someone with an ED, or would just like to voice your worries, please come to asylum_therapy tomorrow.
The session will be open from 9.30pm onwards (most likely the session will be on for around 2 hours or more).

There will be a 2nd session on Wednesday 3rd June at 9-10pm PST (Seattle time), on the same subject, in which Head Nurse stillbourne will be your mentor :)
o, if you have an ED of anykind, know someone with an ED, or would just like to voice your worries, please come to asylum_therapy
---------------

Lastly, I would just like to remind you all of some _asylum_ rules:
4. Play nice with the other patients. This is a therapeutic environment and abuse of staff or other patients will NOT be tolerated here. We will delete all posts of an intentionally disrespectful nature, as well as disrespectful comments to other people's posts.
Yes, I know you all have your own opinions, and yes, I know they may not be the same as everyone elses, but please, please refrain from what could be interpreted as 'attacking' another member.
If you object to something a member may have said, and feel the need to comment, please do not be aggressive about it. If the nature of thier post is in your opinion aggressive, abusive, or not something you feel they should be posting about publicly, please contact a member of staff.
Any abusive comments will result in the thread being deleted and those involved being banned from the community.
Just play nice and you can all have cupcakes :)

Ok, well if you have any questions about the therapy sessions, or just need to voice anything, you can contact me tonight at nurse_cupkake@hotmail.co.uk or just PM me here :)

*loudspeaker dies out*