Stay for tea?
May. 6th, 2009 07:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
Things change with the seasons.Time heals old wounds.Sometimes it allows you to forget.
My drinking has got me into trouble.Besides the meds I'm on and the annoyingly stupid situations, my main problem is my liver.I have a sneaking suspicion that it may be a little fucked.The doctor will be able to tell me at least. I'm am no where near dependency, just poor impulse control.
I have been going for five element acupuncture.Apparently I'm not connected to my spirit.Don't knock it till you try it.It doesn't really matter what I believe to be true -- it's just different metaphors for the same thing. I am trying to stay off the drink and hopefully will try to stop smoking.
My mood swings have dissipated.Something must be working.
I am going home to South Africa.My family are moving to Capetown which is far less dangerous than Pretoria where I grew up.Unfortunately I will be in Pretoria for a few weeks to help them pack. I considered staying, but decided to start college here in Ireland.I despise Dublin so it's good having something back to fall on.I would love to move to Galway eventually or London.When I am stable and capable.I find it hard to keep a job.
I guess I am still a little isolated.I don't particularly like the friends I do have. Things have grown stale and too many bridges have been burnt.The idea of having a clean slate is romantic but seems unlikely.The people I know are unstable, complacent, manipulative and destructive. I would love to meet someone without baggage and scars.I tire of watching people crash and burn.Selfish, I know, but at the moment I have to focus on my survival and then perhaps I'll play the good samaritan.
I have to survive and learn to live.I refuse to drown in any of this and if that means letting everyone else sink then so be it.
My drinking has got me into trouble.Besides the meds I'm on and the annoyingly stupid situations, my main problem is my liver.I have a sneaking suspicion that it may be a little fucked.The doctor will be able to tell me at least. I'm am no where near dependency, just poor impulse control.
I have been going for five element acupuncture.Apparently I'm not connected to my spirit.Don't knock it till you try it.It doesn't really matter what I believe to be true -- it's just different metaphors for the same thing. I am trying to stay off the drink and hopefully will try to stop smoking.
My mood swings have dissipated.Something must be working.
I am going home to South Africa.My family are moving to Capetown which is far less dangerous than Pretoria where I grew up.Unfortunately I will be in Pretoria for a few weeks to help them pack. I considered staying, but decided to start college here in Ireland.I despise Dublin so it's good having something back to fall on.I would love to move to Galway eventually or London.When I am stable and capable.I find it hard to keep a job.
I guess I am still a little isolated.I don't particularly like the friends I do have. Things have grown stale and too many bridges have been burnt.The idea of having a clean slate is romantic but seems unlikely.The people I know are unstable, complacent, manipulative and destructive. I would love to meet someone without baggage and scars.I tire of watching people crash and burn.Selfish, I know, but at the moment I have to focus on my survival and then perhaps I'll play the good samaritan.
I have to survive and learn to live.I refuse to drown in any of this and if that means letting everyone else sink then so be it.