Lost again

[tankgirl2481.livejournal.com]

It's 2am and I'm crying...
I don't really know why I'm upset or how things got this bad again. We were doing so well. He's a great guy. He took over my bills because I got laid off and he is caring and sweet...
But why is it so bad lately? Why is it that I've been so overly emotional lately? He asks me what is wrong and I say I don't know and than he gets upset that he can't fix things and that I'm still upset. I try to fake a better mood and for the past few weeks this pattern has been a daily ritual.
Sometimes he tells me that I should congratulate him more for this or feel sorry for him for that... I feel like the way I am isn't what he wants, as if the way I am needs to be altered to make him happy. Maybe I'm not making sense. I know my thoughts are really scattered right now. He's always said that he doesn't want to change me but he asks me to do things that are clearly a request to do just that - change myself. I used to be really sarcastic. I have friends who get it and are constantly going back and forth with me with jokes and jabs... But he has asked me to 'treat him as I want to be treated'... But yeah, I can take a joke and I wouldn't mind being treated with extreme sarcasm... But after a few months I've stopped joking. I'm no longer the witty sarcastic person I used to be. Sometimes I mess up and I say a sarcastic remark to him, but I am very aware of it and I try not to. It's a little crazy for me because that was a main feature of my verbal personality.

To be honest, I don't know what the fuck I'm feeling.... I've been feeling sad, lonely, depressed, angry, short-tempered and most emotions in between... But I don't know exactly where it all stems from.

Worst of all: I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to handle it and I don't know how to fix it.

He asks me what's wrong and I say I don't know...
He asks me what he should do to make me feel better and I say I don't know.

How can he help if he doesn't know how? And how can I blame him for getting upset and giving up?
I've been so emotional for a few weeks now.
I feel like this has all happened before in other relationships. I feel like I'm the problem.
Eric is such a great guy... So why can't I just be happy?

I've been hearing voices...

[kyriefluffins.livejournal.com]

And was looking for some support... T_T.

I hear voices. Why? What does it mean? What's going on? Help?