The break up.

[fitche.livejournal.com]

This is a short story of how my girl friend and I broke up. I like to write but it’s hard for me to get inspiration. I've been meaning to share this story for awhile I just haven't gotten the time to do so. Hope you guys like it.

 

It was about the middle of May, right after E3, to be exact. My friends Denis and Dre were driving home from LA.

We were about an hour and a half north of LA. It was a Saturday night. Denis was driving, so I decided to call my girl to see what she was up to. She was up to more than I could have imagined. Maybe it was the lack of communication, or the jaded personality... there are many things that could account for it.

So I decided to call her and say "hi" and I got into sharing a few anecdotes about what happened in LA., and about the Sushi, the Korean BBQ and how much of an ass John was. She decided to take the conversation to a more serious tone. She told me that she had something on her mind and she had been thinking about it for awhile. At first she hesitated on whether it was the proper time to talk about it. I insisted; I always try to get her to talk to me. Communication and compromise are the keys to a good relationship, and my relationship ended because of the lack of these. She wasn't communicating to me and I wasn't compromising with her.

So she brought up the subject of having a break. At first, I thought that she wanted a trial separation; maybe a month or so, and see how we feel. We got into more detail of what she wanted to do. I started crying. I couldn't control it. I tasted the salt in my mouth while I tried to keep my composure while talking to her and riding in the car with my friends. My friends tried to ignore it but couldn't help but listen. I have good friends. I'm glad they understood my situation in the car at that time.

So we talked some more, and she said she had no idea where she is going to and she didn't like the things I had been showing her. She didn't like the plan we had or the plan I had for us, but then again, she had no plan in the first place before she met me. She didn't know what she wanted, but she knew she didn't want to be in Reno with me. I cried some more. I took a deep breath and swallowed a lump in my throat. She went on about how she wanted to find herself, which is understandable; she is one of the youngest people I know, at heart. When I first met her, she didn't know how to clean a toilet, save money, what her favorite food was or about the concept of leftovers.

It was strange, though, when we did first meet; I had a feeling she would break up with me after she learned to become her own person, which indeed happened. I told her this when we first met, and she got upset and didn't believe me. She asked me why I thought that, and I just told her "I have a feeling" and never got into detail about why. I knew there was a risk of getting hurt in being with her because, I knew her better than she knew herself. I took the risk anyway; she had great potential, and she still does. When she does reach her full potential, I won't be good enough for her and she will be unstoppable. That's when she reaches her potential. At her current rate, it will take awhile.

I asked her, "What do you plan to do now?" She said, "I don't know, maybe I'll work on a cruise ship after I get out out of school." I told her that sounded interesting. Nearing the end of our conversation, I ask for Marquis, our best friend's, phone number.

At the end of the conversation, I asked her to say what I always say but she never likes to hear. It's one of my favorite sayings. She knows what it is, but she gets upset and hesitates to say it. "All good things must come to and end," she said. I said, yes, they do. Just to make myself feel better, in my egotistical ways, I said, "See, honey, I told you you were going to break up with me." She got upset again and said, "Yes, you did," and I replied with, "I told you so."

I ended the conversation by saying, "I’m glad I met you, and we had a wonderful time when we were together. I'm just upset that you see our relationship as a burden instead of what it should have been; two people who choose to be together because they chose to be together." She reciprocated, "I will never love anyone as much as you." She also said that it was the best time of her life as well, and she will probably never love anyone again. We both said I love you to each other and hung up.

I hung up, wiped my face off, and started to dial Marquis's number. His grandmother answered the phone and I asked for Marquis. First thing I say to him is, "Me and Jo broke up."

There was a severe lack of surprise in his voice. He told me that he had a feeling that this was coming. That Jo had been talking to him on and off about it all week, and that it was building up to this event. I was angry and surprised. My girlfriend and best friend talked about my relationship without me.

I felt cheated that my best friend didn't warn me and my girlfriend didn't try to work it out with me; that she instead went to someone else totally about OUR problems. When he told me that, I asked him, "I was just talking to you last night; why didn't you tell me about this?" He told me he didn't get a chance because Cip (another friend) was in our conversation as well, so I understood he didn't have a chance. It was a personal topic and wasn't appropriate to bring up. I held in my anger and ask him what she said. He reiterated what Jo told me in the conversation I just had with her.

I told him I felt left out because she never tried to talk to me about our relationship and never gave any hint of what was to come, instead going to him and telling him the entire story. He told me she was kind of afraid to talk to me. "Afraid?" I asked him. She was afraid to talk to me for some reason. This fear of talking is still a mystery to me I've talked to Jo since then, and she says its a personal problem she has to deal with and can't explain very well.

So Marquis and I continue our conversation about Jo and me. I sighed, said good bye and hung up.

I announced to Dre and Denis that I had broken up with Jo and that I'm single again. They gave me words of comfort, and I sat silently, contemplating the situation and the events that had just passed. Nine Inch Nails was playing on my car radio; a remix of one of their songs from their new album (The hand that feeds: Photek Straight remix). I looked up at night sky, hoping for a shooting star to fly by so I could wish none of this ever happened. I closed my eyes and squeeze the rest of my tears out. I composed myself again and said, "That was a good song; let's listen to that again." Dre replayed the song and I tried to forget.

Now its 7 months later, and I've gotten past the stages of grief and now I accept, which is why I'm writing this. I got a new job, some more new friends, and I keep myself busy. I’m still in constant contact with Jo aiuna. In fact, she edited this short story, and she is going to give a copy of it to her therapist. It will be interesting to see where the future will take us; whether we get back together again or not, how long we will be friends, or if we will just separated into the past. Only time will tell. Time will always tell.