Todays therapy

[stillbourne.livejournal.com]

Help caption this photo taken in the common area of the asylum of Nurse stillbourne and rottenpeices

Let's give him a laugh when he gets back here...

(no subject)

[onewho.livejournal.com]

So, I just popped into say I miss all you guys and a soon as I get internet in my appartment I'll be back... After a quick look it seems things have been pritty peaseful here, hope things stay that way. I will be back soon...

FLUORINE IS BACK.

[splitpeach.livejournal.com]

ATTN: ALL PATIENTS!

Nurse Fluorine has been reinstated. My titles include: Aesthetics, Clinical Psychology, & Medicinal Distribution.

I am not yet in Nurse_Station due to a slight technical glitch, so until this error is smoothed out, you may address me with any questions concerns, or therapy appointments at this entry.



OFFICE HOURS:
Guess what? I don't have anything concrete. There is no specific time I will be online. My course schedule is listed on my personal journal (which is friend's only - but I will undoubtedly add you if you are from _asylum_) if you want to know when I specifically won't be here. Other than that, you could e-mail me or reply to this entry (for your privacy, all replies to this entry will be screened) to schedule an appt. - which I would then get online to see you for, or you can add any of my instant messenger identities and contact me whenever I am online. If I am online, I'm there for YOU. So do not feel hesitant to "bother" me - you are NOT bothersome. If I'm online, it's a good time.


COMING SOON:
+New, user-friendly and aesthetically pleasing LAYOUTS for both _asylum_ & Nurse_Station YAY!!
+I will begin documenting patient medication and run spot-check room searches and urine samples to make sure you are taking your pills and not squirreling them away in the walls. <.< >.>
+Group therapeutic activities! I'll post cutesy games and contests to exercise your minds in cathartic ways. =]


CONTACT INFORMATION:
Is available in my userinfo, upon request, and is also listed below for your convenience!
AIM: v1nylf3t1sh
YIM/E-MAIL: The1stPlague@yahoo.com
MSNM: bloodsexviolence@hotmail.com
MYSPACE: www.myspace.com/fluorine


Feel free to drop me a line! ♥

Crossposting from schiz.com

[bubblegumsleaze.livejournal.com]

I posted this on a bulletin board for people with sz that I sometimes hang out on. I'm posting it here hoping that someone who's not hyperfocused on their own mental health issues will come through with some input. After I posted it on schiz.com I realized that at least sixty people are going to say "You should get your meds checked" and unfortunately it's a board that you can't delete your own posts on so I'm just gonna have to suck it up and deal with them all. Anyway I'm reposting it here where there's a chance someone "normal" will read it. And tell me if I'm just being difficult.

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Topic: reach for a pill (1 of 1), Read 0 times New
Conf: General Schiz Discussions
From: ryanc bubblegumsleaze_0@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, September 06, 2006 07:20 PM

I'm beginning to get frustrated with something, and I wonder if anyone else ever shares this frustration, or if I'm just being difficult. It wouldn't be unheard of ;)

I'm not in any kind of denial, I know what my illness is, I know what my symptoms are, I know when I'm symptomatic. But EVERYTHING is not a symptom. As I said in another post somewhere, EVERYTHING is not a delusion. I feel that, being a sentient being, being a human, with all of the attendant emotions that go along with that, I'm allowed to actually FEEL. And what's frustrating me is that every mood, every feeling, every nuance, is eyeballed as a potential symptom, and people are just all too ready to reach for a pill to toss in my direction to get rid of whatever it is.

When sad things happen, I am sad. I am entitled to feel sad, and it's not only normal, it's human! Why is it that at the first glimmer of unhappiness in me, someone is suggesting I call my doctor and get new meds, or readjust old meds, or whatever?
Why is every mood a symptom? Everyone has bad days, days when they're irritable, or when other people get on their nerves. Everyone has days when things don't go right, and they get cranky and grumpy and out of sorts. In other people, the reaction to that is to either leave them alone to get over it, try to jolly them out of it, buy them a drink, make them laugh, whatever. With me? "Have you had your meds checked?" or "Maybe you should call your doctor."
Why is it that when I'm happy, people think I'm manic? When I'm sad they think I'm depressed? When I'm talkative it's bad, when I'm quiet it's bad.
When I draw, and write, and paint, and take pictures, it's not good because I'm indulging my symptoms in my art. When I don't do any of those creative things it's bad because I'm apathetic and showing no interest.
If I'm reading, I'm too withdrawn. If I'm watching tv I'm not doing anything productive, and no matter what I am or am not doing, someone will come up with some reason to suggest that it's symptomatic of something. And it's frustrating to me, because I know they do this because they're hyperaware of my illness. They can't look at anything about me as normal, because they're afraid that they might miss something important.
I just know I'm sick of having a medication suggested every time I have an original thought or idea, or dare to express an emotion.
And just so you know I'm not just crabby, I'll give you a for instance.
I got up late because my alarm didn't go off, so I was having to hurry. While hurrying I got shampoo in my eye, which stung like hell, which made my contact feel scratchy and annoying when I put it in, so when I went downstairs my eye was all red and watering. Immediately I had to defend my shampoo ridden eye, and convince them that I wasn't crying and that nothing was wrong, other than I was running late and was going to miss my train if I didn't get a move on. Because I was rushing I of course messed up half a dozen things, spilled the coffee, couldn't find my wallet, etc. You know how it goes when you're already late. So I was irritated. I just barely made it to the train, and when I got there I didn't have my pass because I'd hurried off without it, so I had to scrape around in the bottom of my backpack for money for the fare. By the time I got to work I was really annoyed with the entire morning. During the course of the day I got windex in my eye, yes the same eye, smashed my finger in a drawer (the nail is turning all funky now, it's gonna do one of those turn black and fall off deals i'm sure), spilled mop water with bleach all over myself and turned my black shirt speckled orange, had to skip lunch because I'd left my wallet home, and then to top it all off, missed the train home and had to call someone to drive into the city to come get me. I was complaining about my day, in the car on the way home, and my brother and my dad BOTH immediately suggested that my moods were erratic, I should call my doctor and maybe get something for anxiety...and I wanted to just scream. NONE of that was symptomatic of anything other than one of those days where things just don't go right. EVERYONE bitches about those days, it's not weird. But for me it's a reason to worry. It's a reason to check into more meds. It's a reason for the people around me to constantly check into my mental state. And it's just so frustrating.
Even when I say something's beautiful, like the whole of last evening, when the air went soft and warm and everything felt anticipatory and exciting, there were suggestions made that my meds were off and that it was symptomatic. It wasn't symptomatic, it was just a really neat, beautiful evening full of people and energy and life and expectation. Why is that a bad thing?
Why is it that for me, because of my illness, everything is assumed to be part of that illness? I am not my disease. My disease is something I have to deal with and yes it's part of me, but it is NOT me. It's not all that I am, it's not what I consider my defining characteristic.
It's just so frustrating. Does this happen to anyone else? And does it get on your nerves too?
Why does every mood come under scrutiny? Why is every thought evaluated as a potential signal?
Are we, and those around us, so focused on our diseases that we forget that we're human beings?