(no subject)

[maideleh.livejournal.com]

I love the night...I really do. It's my favorite part of the day. But I get so lonely....

It's night when the bad things happen. The nightmares, the suicidal or self-injurous urges, the feelings of abandonment and loss of hope.

Nighttime is so beautiful and calm and peaceful.....but when I'm not in his arms it's just cold and dark and frightening.

I know I have to get used to this. I am leaving in less than two months. I won't see him or even talk to him every day. I'll be lucky to see him once a month. I have to get used to this now. I can't even go through two days without him before I start doubting....before I stop wanting to live.

I just don't know how I'll survive all the nights without him....

(no subject)

[deep-mist.livejournal.com]

my mind is all over the place at the moment...

my boyfriend and I just broke up so I'm just feeling weird at the moment....

444

[kutera.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, it's important to remember who's not in charge, and listen to them anyway, because then you feel better about not listening to who really is in charge.

...unless you're smart.

(no subject)

[maideleh.livejournal.com]

My boss has not been paying me. This has been going on for about six weeks. First my check was 11 hours short. Then the next one came and not only did he not pay me for those 11 hours, he also docked me another 8 hours. Then, my most recent check which I got today did not pay me for those 19 hours, and also docked me ANOTHER 8 hours. So now this man owes me for 27 god-damn hours. When i got my check today and saw that it was STILL WRONG, I just burst into tears and started screaming at Bhavish, the manager. He freaked out that I was freaking out and called the boss who I spoke to and who swore that he would send a check first thing tomorrow morning for 27 hours. Now...that sounds reasonable, right? Well yeah, it would, if he had not said that twice before without doing it.

Tomorrow morning I am supposed to be to work at 10. I am calling at 9:30 and asking if my check is there. If it isn't, I am not going to work. Granted, I will probably be fired, but I CANNOT TAKE THIS SHIT ANY MORE. I am not a slave. I will not work for free.

And he doesn't only do this to me either! He owes Sanjeet for 85 hours! He didn't pay Kumar for the last two weeks at all! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN!?

And you know what the worst part is? I looked it up and even called the NY labor board to make sure. I CAN NOT TAKE LEGAL ACTION AGAINST THIS MAN, EVEN TO SUE FOR BACK-WAGES, BECAUSE I DO NOT MAKE MORE THAN $600 A WEEK. That is the most ridiculous rule EVER. This is so unfair. In fact, it is perfectly legal for him to fire me for asking for him to pay me.

I'm crying again.

The worst part? I leave for college in 7 weeks. I HAVE TO STAY AT THIS JOB. I need the money and there is nowhere else that will hire me for just 7 weeks.

I want to kill that Indian sonofabitch.