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Going through a bad, selfish space right now. Wrote this last night and went to bed volatile:
*growls*
I'm going on a goddamn strike. You read me...a pregnancy strike. Fuck these bad moods, fuck these back aches, fuck this morning sickness, fuck these hormones.
I try my best to just suck it up and deal with it but I'm damn well useless right now. I attempt to do something, I can't because it tires me out too quickly. Or I miss out on plans because I fall asleep, or I'm busy puking or trying to keep my meal down.
I can't even shop anymore because what used to fit me would look ridiculous.
Yeah, I know it's not all about me anymore but I'll be damned if it isn't all about me RIGHT NOW.
I wanna put my fist through the friggin' wall. The looks, the talking behind my back.
That stupid bastard being unable to help me with this responsibility. He could change, he could fix himself. He just won't. I'm going to get the backlash for his immaturity from my child. #^%$#&$#&^!!!!!!!!! Because Gods only know that any single Mum is the bad guy, right? The man hating Nazi femme. And because I agree that he, as he is, is too unstable to be a Dad, I'm condoning a 'one parent household that could in turn damage the child'. Yes, let's not acknowledge that I'm going to be a damn good mother and devote my life and every ounce of my soul to this child. No Dad? The kid's fucked. WHAT KIND OF BIAST, CAVEMAN BULLSHIT IS THAT?!
Yeah well call the buggar, he'll tell you he backed out himself.
I've friggin' had it. Somehow, someway it will be all my fault.
I know I've kept a reasonably positive attitude and I try to continue it but I can't pretend that every day I'm thankful. There, I typed it. What a horrible thing to express but it's true.
*growls*
I'm going on a goddamn strike. You read me...a pregnancy strike. Fuck these bad moods, fuck these back aches, fuck this morning sickness, fuck these hormones.
I try my best to just suck it up and deal with it but I'm damn well useless right now. I attempt to do something, I can't because it tires me out too quickly. Or I miss out on plans because I fall asleep, or I'm busy puking or trying to keep my meal down.
I can't even shop anymore because what used to fit me would look ridiculous.
Yeah, I know it's not all about me anymore but I'll be damned if it isn't all about me RIGHT NOW.
I wanna put my fist through the friggin' wall. The looks, the talking behind my back.
That stupid bastard being unable to help me with this responsibility. He could change, he could fix himself. He just won't. I'm going to get the backlash for his immaturity from my child. #^%$#&$#&^!!!!!!!!! Because Gods only know that any single Mum is the bad guy, right? The man hating Nazi femme. And because I agree that he, as he is, is too unstable to be a Dad, I'm condoning a 'one parent household that could in turn damage the child'. Yes, let's not acknowledge that I'm going to be a damn good mother and devote my life and every ounce of my soul to this child. No Dad? The kid's fucked. WHAT KIND OF BIAST, CAVEMAN BULLSHIT IS THAT?!
Yeah well call the buggar, he'll tell you he backed out himself.
I've friggin' had it. Somehow, someway it will be all my fault.
I know I've kept a reasonably positive attitude and I try to continue it but I can't pretend that every day I'm thankful. There, I typed it. What a horrible thing to express but it's true.