Incoharent Babble #1

[happynekko.livejournal.com]

A place were no one knows me, and I can truely say whats on my mind.......

.....'bout fucking time.


Right now, this very moment I've come to a conclusion. I'm expendable. People I thought were my friends, people I've given trust to, let come near have abandoned me. Left me behind the fucking second something fucking better comes along. I should've stopped caring long ago. I get angry way too easily. I get weepy even easier. I want to destroy things, scream, punch, throw a massive fit and finally have my voice be fucking heard. No. Listened to. My say fucking matters, dammit. So screw you all!

I'm tired of trying. You fucking try for a change. And when you do I'll turn my back and pretend you're not there.

Fuck you.



....I wish this made me feel better.

~The Neko

(no subject)

[figliadifuoco.livejournal.com]

For all of you who enjoy the strange and abnormal, I suggest checking out this site. The Flash animations are my personal favorite.

so angry

[jeezis.livejournal.com]

god i am so fucking frustrated! it sucks coming back to "home" and realizing i don't want to be there and how nothing is there for me. it's friggin depressing (not in the whiny 'i'm so sad i want to die wah' sense but that sort of draining 'i dont want to do anything' sense. i'm just so unhappy here, it's like it is leeching off of my soul. i don't just want to see my friends, i need to see them! sitting with my laptop and cellphone all day just isnt enough, i need some friggin human contact! i can't stop thinking about tori, ever. i miss her so badly and everything reminds me of her. i wish i had a picture of her for my wallet :/ i didnt even have time to get one before i left. it's so hard to keep going sometimes...sometimes it's hard not to cry...sometimes it's hard not to destroy things...sometimes it's hard not to deck my fucking dad right in the jaw. every time he asks me "why are you acting this way?" i just want to stand up and scream "you fucking molested me you sick bastard! i hate you more than anyone in the entire world! i hate being in the same town as you! don't you ever fucking touch me again! you ruined a part of my life and i can never get it back! i want to stab you in the chest and fucking watch you die!" there is nothing in this house but bad memories. memories of him doing things to me. memories of my mom brushing it off like it was no big deal. running away from him like a frightened animal being hunted. that gleam in his eye when he would hit me or yell at me. i want to beat the shit out of him. but he would be able to defend himself, i want to beat him, i want to win against him. i want to floor him and spit on his fucking face and walk away.

ok, i need to go now...*sigh* i need a fucking hug right now.

x-posted to my journal

laughable mothers

[harleyfuelieroc.livejournal.com]

it's a sad day when YOUR MOM says shit behind your back. apparently she has noticed that i have no life. and it makes me smile to see that she's upset with me for not getting out to see the light of day. maybe i don't because there's so reason to. i don't have friends to go out and be spiffy with. but when she was in high school, all the metal heads loved her, and she was social and started dinking at 16. ahem. i don't want that. and she knows how my father is. he hates everyone my age because they are ungrateful and i do'nt want to get smacked for trying to have a life. and last year, the only time i went out, my mom was cussing and yelling at me because it was a hassle to take me out. hypocrits. and i can't go and take a walk or anything, apparently i'll get kidnapped at raped. i feel like i have to ask to sit on the front porch. and yet she copmlains i have no life.

this is sad, and irritating.... and depressing. but it still makes me laugh at how ridiculous this is.

x-posted

[babyxruth.livejournal.com]

new name all
sin_for_him