asylum_online | Jun. 7th, 2004

asylum...
I haven't updated here in a while.
I'm pained by a couple of friend's struggles.
One is that guy Scott, I've mentioned him before. I was really crushing over him and such, but we both knew our long distance wouldn't work, and he's going out with another girl now...=/ But he's still hurting over his last ex, Jenni. He's still very much in love with her...he's still getting over her. There's a picture of him in his journal that he posted...he's holding a gun to his head...and in the picture there, he's wearing the ring I gave him on his pinky, just like he said he still did.
I talked to him on the phone recently...I've missed talking to him, and I miss hanging out with him. There are a lot of complicated stories with him and relationships...people he's accedently hurt, I think because he's just not quite aware of some things. But still...I think he's a good person, he has good intentions, and he has a good heart. And right now..well...I'm very worried for him. The pain of getting over someone you fall for...it makes you want to kill yourself...
It's horrible. He fell for this girl, they were together for 2 years, she cheated on him twice, the last time was when they offically broke...but, wow...she still tells him certain things I guess. Things like...how she misses him in bed and wants him...she's torturing him, stringing him along. Maybe it's on purpose, or maybe she just doesn't realize how much it hurts him because he's still very much in love with her.
I worry for him very much, I don't want to see Scott in pain. I'm there for him though, and he knows it. I just...wanted to share this somewhere...vent about it I guess. My worry over a good friend that I don't want to lose touch with, ever again.
And...Graydon. Spending so much time with Graydon...so much time talking on the phone and online. Yeah...he's a real sweetie. He's really been there for me, and right now...I'm there for him. Something he's struggling with...something that he's kept a secret about his past from many, many people. I respect that...but he wants to tell me sometime. So I'll be here for him when he's ready to share this secret with me...and whatever it is, I shall not share it with another. I won't judge him, I won't abandon him.
I love him...I think I'm falling in love with him, a little...Graydon I mean.
It's scary and confusing, and it hurts...and I'm unsure. But...well...yeah. Anyway...I'm worried about him as well. Of course I am...I care about him so much. I wish I could be with him...*sigh*
All this is weighing down on my mind...I need closure, I need to vent...I'm venting now...but...well...yeah...=/
I haven't posted here in quite a while, I know.
So uh...has anyone else gone through this before with a friend?
I'm interested to know...so feel free to say if you have if you want.
Anyway...uh...things with me are good n' stuff.
So uh...later =P

Out.