Cojones, Stickwads, Balloonbutt and the like

[hellsphreak.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't know about that subject line.. Just pretend that it is a perfectly ordinary line and leave it at that, shall we?

I know I have not been posting very much lately. I am usually just playing games online or leaving my net running while I attempt to smash my cranium against the mother of a propane tank out back. It is entertaining, never mind the smear of blood that gets left behind. The questions are starting to drive me nuts. I tell them,

"Oh, that's just cricket blood. I like their crunchy body but I can not stand their blood so I smear it off on this here tank and eat 'em."

Frankly, I do not think anyone believes the lies I try to pass off as the truth. That is OK.. Perfectly OK. If you wish to believe the truth instead of the honest lies I tell, that is your prerogative. Though, I must tell you, believing in truths would get you no where. It will not carry you off to some distant, fantasy land and there would be no deformed unicorns shitting smelly rainbows anywhere. All you will get is the bleak, mundane life that you are leading right now.

I, however, choose to flick boogers after boogers at that orange trannsexual ape that keeps hitting on me. I tell him I am not into beastility. Ape insists he's my next of kin. OK, in that case, I am most certainly not into incest! Get thee away, ye foul ape!! And still he attempts to hump my toenail while watching his sisters receiving special bukkake treatments. It is pink and frothy. Gross.

OK, I think I have said enough. Bye.

[x-posted to eccentric_flair and my own LJ.. cause I'm a whore like that.]