Hi

[spellbound14.livejournal.com]

Hey. Im new here. I've been watching for awhile and decided to join and post my most recent poetry. Its based on an old prayer I used to say before bed when I was younger...

Now I lay me
down to sleep,
I pray the lord
my soul to keep.
If I should die
before I wake,
I pray the lord
my sould to take.

And as I press
this blade to skin,
I feel the pain
start sinking in.
As tears start to
run down my face,
I think of bliss
I soon will face.

I pour pills out
upon my hand,
If this won't work
then I'll be damned.
An overdose
to kill the pain,
But not to fix
me "right as rain".

So as I lay
me down to sleep,
I tell myself
I mustn't weep.
I won't wake up
but yet I will,
Among angels
who also killed.

Its definately not as good as the other stuff on here, but I thought I'd post it anyway.

(no subject)

[blood-baphomet.livejournal.com]

every day I wait for hell. Not every day it comes. I hate being crazy. I hate feeling things. I wish there were a magic drug that would make everything stop. I wish I could hide from all the evil inside of me. I wish I could hide from everyone. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of feeling things. I want to be that person who is impenetrable. I want to look down the barrel of any gun and not care. I want to stop figuring things out. I want to die. I hate this whole thing. I wish I could just be normal. I wish I could feel something normal. I'm tired of trying. I want to die. I hate being awake .

My life is the payment for every bad thing I've done.
My existence is the culmination of every wicked action or thought I've ever had. I should look it in the face and take it. I'm a coward for fighting.

I've always been a total fuck up...now I get to pay. You are my payment. You are what teaches me what a bad person I really am. I wish some times you would really pull the trigger. I preach about the seriousness of killing people, how its all over and there is no change after that. But when I think, when I feel - I want to go far away from all of the things that hurt. I want to vanish and start over because every thing that is me is a world of shit. I hate my life, I hate me.
I want to be done.
Kill me. I'm so tired of being here.