tlx43n.livejournal.com posting in asylum_online
It took me quite a long time to get over my obsessive thoughts about what people think of me and trying to change myself for others, and getting over my agoraphobia. One thing I still struggle with is my paranoid problems. I always come up with scenarios and fuckin pessimistic conclusions and it didn't even happen yet. And this is just at the current state where I'm better than before. Before, when I was younger, Id come up with conversations inside my head, coming up with a whole bunch of stupid shit and telling myself its true, its going to happen and then believing it. Right now, I know none of the shit I'm making up is true, I know that. I just can't help it. For example, if someone I know stops talking to me for awhile, I'll be thinking to myself, why are they doing that? They must think I'm crazier than them. It's probably because I scare them away or they don't like me anymore. I keep thinking the same types of answers over and over again and come up with more negative shit. Ugh I need to learn not to give a flying fuck and just shrug everything off UNTIL it actually happens and then I just want to be able to shrug that off and get on with life. I hope I'll change eventually. I know being paranoid isn't going to help, its my life and I need to change for myself. Does anyone here struggle with paranoia?