It feels like I am completely alone in my illness. I hate being the way I am and just wish I could live a life like other people. Just basic things like being able to drive, not being on 5 different psychotropic medications at 31 years old and not sitting in a basement hiding from the world 24 hours a day smoking cigs like a mad woman and trying to wish my self loathing away. Feeling very hopeless for my future. Everyday I wake up hoping to feel better and ending the day in defeat. Coffee and cigarettes the only thing thats keeping me from taking to my bed and saying fuck it all I refuse to live in this world anymore I choose to be sleeping beauty who never gets woken up by the prince.